Aaaaah damn!! that’s why there was no one, hm?? I’ll find a different service for the next one! I’m glad you watched it later on, though :)))))
Hi guys! not many showed up but here’s the recorded video from the livestream i just did. I talk about parents being unsupportive, flaws in healthcare systems, and how to feel better day to day.
for the next hour or so i’ll be answering any questions you guys ask through chat on this stream, live. go for it!
to me to make an appt but it could be months. I just don’t know what to do. It’s Saturday night here and weekends are my worst time of the week, but that means it’s college again soon which is good. I’m using the prospect of seeing my therapist soon to keep me going, hopefully it’ll all work out. I must stop complaining. Thank you so much for your reply, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. Even if I stood here forever and said thank you, I couldn’t get across how much you help me.
You don’t have to feel ashamed about being sick. I know parents tend to react harshly to mental illness. I say keep talking to your head of year on a weekly basis (as if they were your therapist) until you can actually see your therapist. You’ve gotta have that support. If that’s not an option, go to my personal blog and if you send me messages off-anon I can be the one you check in with every week. You’ve got to be able to vent! and you’re going to be okay, because time passes (it’s passing right now) and you will not feel this terrible forever.
You’re going to be fine, your immune system is so strong and you’re not going to be sick. But you know this! If this keeps happening please tell an adult you trust, in the meantime, do something that takes all of your attention.
I think she’s contacting my therapist to see if I can return to sessions, which I stopped before the summer holidays (in June) but obviously it’s all taking time. And for the moment I literally feel as if I want to stay in bed, not move. I am terrified I am going to get a cold or catch a sickness bug (just intense fears of mine) like literally I just want to cry, everything is scaring me and I feel hopeless. My parents have no idea and I am not talking to them (sorry). I just don’t know what to do for the time being. I am so so so so scared and just don’t want to be here like this anymore. I am sorry to be a pain as I know it’s the last thing you need right now. My HOY said I could email her at any point, go and see her at any point, that nothing is stupid, but it’s eight thirty ish pm here and I’m in utter meltdown. I am so scared, you’re the only people I can talk to right now. Thank you so much please don’t think I’m weird
i’m sorry for not being able to answer this the night you sent it. How are you feeling now? I think you should definitely contact your head of year. it’s important to have a lifeline of someone you know in real life. Tell her you really need to get back to therapy, that it’s urgent. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to need help. Please let me know how things are.
2) I can still interact with classmates and strangers fine under most circumstances with minimal discomfort, but I’m not close enough with any of the few friends I have to talk about these things and we don’t keep in touch often, only really talking on occasion, and it’s been that way for as long as I can remember. I also have some serious anxiety related procrastination problems that have greatly harmed my marks, and as a grade 12 student, I can’t let this go on.
3) I think my procrastination problem stems from the fact that my only outlet for my anxiety is the internet, and I spend too much time trying to relieve my stress that I end up overestimating the number of tasks I can get done in the time available. It eventually got to the point that I was in the hospital due to purposely triggering an allergic reaction to get out of an exam, and the doctors recommended me to therapy.
4) But when we received the call to make an appointment, I pretty much answered all questions by saying I was completely fine, because the questions were about extreme things such as drug abuse, which I don’t do, and suicide, which I think about from time to time but know I’ll never really do it. So we never got a response and after gathering the courage to ask my parents about it, they said they were told by the professionals that I “was just acting out”.
5) I’ve known that I’ve had these issues for years, but I kept telling myself that I was just being lazy and I can fix my marks and make friends if I just tried harder. No matter how much I keep telling myself and others I’m fine and I’ll do better tomorrow I never do, and now my parents have discovered my marks and are taking away my only outlet again. I never wanted therapy because I don’t want to reveal my skeletons in the closet, but I feel I should gather the courage to ask my parents.
6) I just don’t feel comfortable asking them because they’re pissed off now and whenever I feel depressed Mom starts talking about how “some kids don’t get to go to school” or “crying won’t solve your problems”. I get that she cares about my future but she doesn’t seem to care about my current mental health. Sorry for all the asks.
Anon, it seems that you’ve sorted a few things out just by writing this. First, that first therapy service you were offered is probably only for suicidal kids fresh out the hospital, kids that are really, really ill, and luckily you don’t fall into that category. you still manage to function in day to day life. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve/need therapy! i would try asking your parents with more of a “I want to change my life for the better and I believe i could benefit from professional therapy” attitude. Tell them you feel poorly every day from it and would like to get better, and you would like to learn to change your thinking when it comes to procrastination etc. Let me know if this helps!
hi! this is probably something related to hypervigilance which can also be linked to OCD/is in the OCD range of the anxiety spectrum. Just do a quick google search about it, see if any of it fits you and go to your doctor with your new knowledge. You can also start doing stuff at home that will help with your hypervigilance and intrusive thoughts. It may just be easier to tell your doctor you think it’s OCD. Psychiatrists always get mad when you know more about your illness that you do so be prepared to stand up for yourself, back up your research and your experiences. Be specific. What you are feeling is valid and if it’s fucking up yr everyday life you deserve correct treatment. Hope this helps! stay strong bb
hi anon yes we’re here we hear you!!! just tending to my own Bumper Crop on the Mental Illness Farm Amstedam at the moment, lemme see if i can’t answer your q’s right now.
If you feel that your therapy has been helping you, what you need to do is call your therapist and tell them the reason you’re not going any longer - what you just told me. They may be able to intervene, or at least reach out to your parents and tell them from a professional standpoint about why your treatment is necessary.
I don’t know your whole story or what prompted your sister to say you were “lying”, but it sounds complex, so i can’t do much more than recommend you have your therapist advocate for you. I hope it helps.
this sounds like OCD, which neither of the mods here has, but it is a form of anxiety. I know that there are a ton of resources to get your mind off of stuff on this blog, take a look into our archive. But, please look into obsessive compulsive disorder and see if that sounds like you! Often having a self diagnosis is the first step in recovery. Let us know if there’s anything else you need help with in the anxiety world! best of luck <3
Hi there! sorry, yes we are! Both of the mods have been v busy since the end of the summer and i’m (Gina) having kind of having a hard time managing my anxiety lately here in Amsterdam, so i’ve mainly been focusing on myself. But we’re both still here and the blog is still running! it’s just difficult right now.
Yes, they probably are. I know this ask is about two weeks old - how are you doing now? are you taking medication?